Sometimes I feel like the more we forget about it,
the more beautiful it gets-
like it’s craving attention, almost.
Sometimes it takes 6700 miles and 2 weeks in a car and preparing to leave this beautiful country for a while
and seeing state after state, city after city, landmark after landmark, accident after accident, roadkill after roadkill, person after person, community after community, worker after worker, sunset after sunset,
The 7th is one anniversary that I definitely never anticipated.
7 months of learning.
7 months of healing.
7 months of forgiving.
7 months of cleansing.
7 months of changing.
7 months of learning to trust.
7 months of becoming happier.
7 months of becoming stronger.
7 months of becoming closer to the friends that have never left my side, new friends that are helping me transform my life, my family, and God.
A lot has changed in 7 months.
Okay but seriously. We’ve been stopped for like 15 minutes, are about 10 cars back from the crash, and we’ve seen news vans from 2 different stations, ambulance, fire engine, county sheriff, state patrol, Omaha police, firetrucks, life flight, the whole 9 yards.
"Once you get inside, there will be no photography-with or without flashing, moving or not moving. But you may draw! Just not on our documents."
Haha, excuse me while I pull out my pen and paper and sketch the Declaration of Independence :)
what is your plan for after college? were you wanna live? achieve? take on as a career?
To be totally honest-I will probably be married before the end of college, and with that will probably come being a mom. That will become my first priority, once I’m at that stage.
As far as where I want to live, that mostly depends on where I’m at when I reach that point. I would love to spend a few months in a big city while I’m single/early married, but once I start a family - definitely either Logan or Boise; I hope that I will always be close to “home base” in Boise (if that’s where “home base” stays). I really want my kids to grow up around my brothers and their kids; I want us to all stay close. That is all, of course, dependent on if/when I get married, where his family is, where jobs/school take us, etc.
But, I would LOVE to teach elementary school, preferably grades K-2, and I would LOVE to work either 1) in a 3rd world country (like what I’m doing this summer) or 2) in more poverty-stricken areas of the United States, or even with ESL kids. After seeing my mom go through her social work stuff, it has really opened my eyes to the reality of the struggles that people-even in Boise-are facing.
There is so much work to be done to help people, here at home as well as abroad, and I would love to be a part of that. I would especially love to work with kids and with music in order to achieve that.
But in all honesty, I will probably be a student forever. I love learning, and there are so many things I want to explore and take classes on. As long as I can afford it (physically and emotionally once I have a family), I will be going to school.
“When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated.”—Lorenzo Snow, in Conference Report, Apr. 1899
My entire life is either in a suitcase, in a box, or hanging in my closet so we can pick up the rest and put it in the car come August, 40-hours-and-11-states-in-3-days worth of CD’s made, scrutiny of shoes in order to close my suitcase over with (which, lemme tell ya, was a task), post-craziness/pre-craziness breakdown complete, time to see people (for the most part) in the past, last bath for a long time coming as soon as this is posted, and completely exhausted.
Ready for 2 weeks of traveling across the U.S., 4 days in Boise to throw together a reception, my other brother’s Court of Honor, say goodbye to the people I won’t see until Thanksgiving or Christmas, make sure everything for school is ready so I can come home and turn right back around to move down to Logan, 2 mission farewells, a 6am flight to San Diego, then 2 months in Mexico, totally separated from everything I’ve ever known, another 15 hours in the car, and moving back to Logan for school within 48 hours of being back in the United States.
Cried tonight for the first time since I don’t even remember.
Flaws I’m working on fixing, mistakes I’m letting go of, challenges I’m preparing to face, people I miss, people I never should have hurt, intentions I miscommunicated, pain that I caused, feeling so unworthy of forgiveness from God or myself or anybody else, huge changes I’m bracing for, trying to understand why I have been so unbelievably blessed when I have been so unbelievably selfish, facing the fact that I am so far away from being the person I crave to be-
All caught up to me tonight
as soon as the last suitcase was zipped, and the last box closed.